Enough Already

One social media post I see far too often I've named The Good Deed Turnabout.

I'm sure the original version of this was not only inspiring, but also maybe true. All the posts that have sprung from it are neither.

Recognize it?

I was rushing to a interview for a job that could turn around my life. On the way, I spotted an unconscious squirrel on the sidewalk. I knew I'd be late for my appointment, but I stopped and performed CPR on the squirrel.

After the revived bushy-tailed rodent scampered off, I dashed to my interview only to be coldly informed that I was late ... but ... there's an ever so slight chance they could squeeze me in.

After an hour of pacing the reception area considering the option of not getting this job was going on welfare, I was ushered into the inner sanctum where behind the grand mahogany desk was the CEO ... imagine my surprise when I saw that the CEO was the squirrel who I risked my career to save.

 
Here are 5 more posts that can I can do without as described by the highly talented and respected copywriter Dave Harland:

1. Your morning routine. The earlier you say that you wake up, and the more things you say that you cram in before 9am, the more impressive you will appear. List everything out, including meditation, exercise and formulating daily plans to obliterate your competitors etc.

2. Your charity work. Spreading the word about all of your good deeds helps charities avoid wasting money on advertising. You could discuss your regular donations, a sponsored run/skydive/silence/heist you're doing, or how you spend one day a week at the local orphanage (even if you don't - nobody ever checks lol). Mention that you don't really like to talk about it, so you come across as really humble.

3. A photo of your car, your house or your watch. Accompany this with a heartfelt story about how you've worked hard for this prized possession and why you really deserve it. If any haters call you a narcissist, tell them you can help them 10X their earnings by being 20X less jealous. Then block them. They'll never understand.

4. A poll. Any poll. It could be about politics, sport, whether swearing has a place on Linkedin, or the different names for a bread roll in different parts of the UK. This shows that you're extremely interested in what your audience thinks, even when the content of the question and your rationale for seeking the answer is totally absurd.

5. Stuff you're proud of. Potential clients love nothing more than seeing you shout about that contract you landed, that award you won or that person you gave a job to despite them having zero experience in the thing you hired them for. Top tip: Put "Agree?" right at the end, even when you've not really put anything worth agreeing about.

For more of Dave's unique view on the copywriter's world, get his Friday email: The Word