A meaningless number ... but I like it.

 

Last week, 3 of my LinkedIn posts got a combined 357,983 impressions.

Vanity metrics. Everybody pretends to despise them while secretly refreshing dashboards like gamblers rubbing lottery tickets under a gas station light. Followers. Likes. Views. Open rates. Reach. A whole spreadsheet ecosystem built to quantify human attention, which is already one of the flakiest substances on earth.

I know most of those “impressions” meant nothing. A half-second glance. A distracted scroll. Somebody opening LinkedIn by accident while trying to check the weather. The internet counts all of it like an overenthusiastic carnival worker.

And even though I know this, I’m not above it. 

Not even close.

A big number activates my ancient monkey brain. I saw big numbers on 3 posts, added them up to 357,983 and briefly felt like a medieval peasant who’d been invited to sit near the king.

Meaningless? Absolutely.

Distracting? Unfortunately, yes.

Fun? Can't pretend it wasn't.

Reality Check

 

REALITY CHECK: People don’t have enough time

 

• The average professional receives 120 new emails each day. 
  
  
• Text messaging users send or receive an average of 41.5 messages per day.
  
  

I could go on, citing exposure to “traditional” advertising and other messaging … but the point is clear:

People receive too many communications.

 

➤Which leads to the reality:

Every message received demands attention and time from

people who are already too busy.

 

➤Which reminds marketing writers/creators:

Ya gotta improve your game daily,

both at getting and holding your best prospect’s attention.

The Ads Your Customers Swear They Never Saw

 

There’s a special moment in every marketer’s life when the data taps you on the shoulder, clears its throat, and says, “Hey, you might want to sit down for this.”

Valspar just had one of those moments.

Neuromarketing researcher Thomas Zoëga Ramsøy discovered that 95% of shoppers exposed to Valspar ads bought the brand. Only 70% of the “unexposed” did. 

Great news, right? Champagne? High-fives? Cue the case-study video?

Hold the confetti cannon.

Because when those same shoppers were asked at checkout if they remembered seeing any Valspar advertising, most of them said, with full confidence, “Nope. Never seen it.”

So there it is: the creative work doing the heavy lifting is the very work people swear they’ve never laid eyes on.

Which, honestly, feels about right.

Your brain is a stingy little machine, burning 20% of your calories while making up 2% of your body. It refuses to let your conscious mind handle anything it can safely automate. Walking, tying shoes, choosing paint brands … all shoved into the dusty back room marked AUTOPILOT: NO LOITERING.

And advertising? It sneaks in through that door.

Ramsøy found that people spot an ad in roughly 2–3 seconds. Two. Maybe three. That’s your window. That tiny sliver where attention flares just long enough to stamp an emotional watermark on the subconscious before the brain yanks the power cable from the memory department.

And that watermark? That’s what guides the hand reaching for paint cans later, while the shopper’s mouth says, “I just like this brand better.”

So here’s the uncomfortable truth: If you’re measuring success by whether people remember your ads, you’re basically asking your guests to review the meal based on a dream they half-had during dessert.

Stop chasing recall. Chase resonance. Chase the spark in those first 300 milliseconds when decision-making actually happens.

Your best campaigns might be the ones nobody remembers … except their brains already bought the product.

The Annoying New Rhythm of TV

 

I realized something had shifted the night a car chase got interrupted by a toothpaste commercial.

Not at the end of a scene. Not after a dramatic pause. Right in the middle of screeching tires and someone dangling off a bridge *bam* “micro-foam technology.”

Ads don’t bother me in principle. I understand the deal. We pay less, they sell stuff. Fine. But TV used to have rhythm. Scenes had buttons. Jokes landed. Tension peaked. Then the ad break arrived like a predictable thunderclap. You could feel the structure underneath it.

Now, when streaming movies on services like YouTube, the interruptions feel like a cat sprinting across your keyboard. No warning. No rhythm. No sense of story. 

Maybe we’ve just gotten used to being interrupted. Our attention spans are basically public sidewalks now … any brand can set up a folding table in the middle of them. We’ll step around it and keep going.

Still, I miss when timing mattered. When pauses meant something. When a scene could actually finish before an emu tried to sell me insurance.

Yes, I’ll keep watching. I’ll keep rolling my eyes when the climactic duel is interrupted by a cheerful voice promising two-day shipping. I’ll mute it. I’ll sigh. I’ll wait. But every time an ad crashes into a moment that was about to mean something, I feel like I’m watching creativity get nudged aside by a spreadsheet.

Am I the only one muttering at the screen or does everybody use the break to scroll on their phones?