We’ve all seen it. That Frankenstein monster of corporate
“content” stitched together from jargon, buzzwords, and the tears of unpaid
interns. It lumbers across the internet, moaning things like “synergize your
ROI streams” and “facilitating growth opportunities.”
And … we close the tab.
Don’t be that writer. Nobody wants to read a white paper
that feels like homework. If your marketing copy doesn’t make people yawn,
scroll, or punch their monitor, you’re already ahead of the pack. Here’s how to
keep your words alive, awake, effective, and maybe even fun.
1. Write Like You’re Talking to a Human (Preferably One
You Like)
Pretend you’re explaining your thing to a buddy over beers.
Not a boardroom. Not a hostage negotiation. A buddy. If it feels like you’re
writing a eulogy for software, stop. Start over.
Shortcut: Literally write, “Hey [friend’s name], did
you know…” and then just let it rip. You can delete the “Hey Steve” later, but
that tone? That’s the good stuff.
2. If You Wouldn’t Say It In a Conversation, Torch It
Do you actually say words like “utilize” in real life? No,
you say “use.” The second you start sprinkling in “facilitate,” “robust,” or
“synergy,” you sound like a malfunctioning TED Talk robot.
Bad: “We facilitate growth through innovative
strategies.”
Good: “We help you grow with smart strategies.”
One sounds human. The other sounds like a ransom note.
3. Read It Out Loud (And Cringe Accordingly)
Your brain lies to you. It tells you that your 34-word
sentence is smooth jazz when really it’s a Yoko Ono interpretive interlude.
Read it out loud. If you trip over it, your reader will too. Rewrite until it
feels like something you’d actually say.
Before: “Our team leverages cross-platform synergy to
maximize ROI.”
After: “We make sure your brand shows up wherever your customers are, so
you get the most bang for your buck.”
See? Less “leverage.” More life.
4. Stop Marathoning Your Sentences
A sentence should not feel like a triathlon. If you’re
gasping for air halfway through, your reader’s already gone. Break it up.
Short. Punchy. Done.
Before: “Our new app offers a range of features
designed to streamline workflows, enhance productivity, and ensure optimal user
satisfaction by delivering seamless integration across multiple platforms.”
After: “Our new app helps you work smarter. It streamlines workflows. It
boosts productivity. It plays nice with your other tools.”
See how much easier that is to swallow?
5. Bring Yourself to the Party
People don’t want to talk to a brand. They want to talk to you.
Opinions, stories, jokes … whatever makes you sound less like a voicemail from
Comcast, use it.
Boring: “Our customer service team is always
available to help you.”
Better: “Got a question at 2 a.m.? We’ve got your back. Our support team
basically runs on caffeine and panic.”
Your personality is the difference between “eh” and “hell
yes.”
6. Kill Corporate Buzzwords
Buzzwords are marketing’s cigarette butts. They’re
everywhere. They stink. And they make you look lazy.
Trash: “Let’s circle back on that low-hanging fruit
and leverage cutting-edge solutions.”
Treasure: “Let’s talk later. We use the latest tools to get the job
done.”
Simple. Clear. And you won’t make your readers throw up in
their mouths.
Good marketing writing isn’t about sounding smart. It’s
about being clear, being human, and, dare I say, not sucking. Write like a
person, cut the crap, and remember: nobody’s ever said, “Wow, I loved that
brand’s synergy.”
Now get out there and make words people actually want to
read.
