Sunday, July 24, 2022

A Copywriter Dies ...

Copywriter Heaven or Copywriter Hell

"You OK?"

"I guess."

I was on the phone with Greg, a copywriter who had just left the ad agency where he had worked for the past 7 years.

"Why'd you leave?"

"Had a disagreement with the management."

"What was the disagreement?" I asked.

"I thought I should continue working there ... they disagreed."

"Ugh. What was the problem?"

"They had a number of reasons, but I think I was too old and making too big a paycheck."

"That sucks."

"Yep ... but all I can think about is this old joke:

A copywriter dies, and Saint Peter offers him a choice of Heaven or Hell. 

The writer asks to see both. 

Leading him to a doorway, Saint Peter says, 'In Hell, there's a room just for copywriters.'

Inside, the writer sees row upon row of faceless people, all scribbling frantically as huge winged demons lay into them with heavy whips. 'The meeting's in five minutes! The meeting's in five minutes!' the demons scream. 

'Uh ... better show me Heaven,' the writer says. 

'In Heaven, there's also a room for copywriters,' Saint Peter says, indicating a different door. 

Peering into the second room, the writer again sees row upon row of faceless people, all scribbling frantically as huge winged demons lay into them with heavy whips. 'The meeting's in five minutes! The meeting's in five minutes!' the demons scream. 

The copywriter protests, 'But I thought you said this was Heaven!' 

St. Peter says, 'Well, here the work gets produced.'"

"Funny," I said.

"Sort of. I think I might've just gotten released from Hell."


__________________________


Postscript

"I'll credit you when I post this."

"Nah. I just got bounced from my job and don't need any sympathy outreach right now. Credit Greg."

"Who's Greg?"

"Funniest kid in my second grade class. Could burp the alphabet."

"Sure I can't just credit you?"

"Greg."

 "OK. Greg it is."




Thursday, July 14, 2022

Naming Paints

Should I paint the bathroom Song of Summer, Disco Nap, or Salty Tear?

Of course those weren't my only choices. 

I'd decided not to go with Kitten Whiskers, Phantom Mist, Grandma's Refrigerator, Subtle Touch, Dangerous Robot, Divine Pleasure, Banana Jellybean, Hamster Cuddles, Mermaid Net, Lazy Lizard, Spirit Whisper, Golly Tamale, Summer's Secret, and Wind's Breath.

And, yes. Those are all real paint color names.

As are these:

Daytona Peach

Un-teal We Meet Again

Newborn Baby

Hyperlink

In Your Eyes

Snugglepuss

Pennies from Heaven

Feel the Energy

Marry Me


But my favorites come from Farrow & Ball: 

Mole's Breath

Sulking Room Pink

Dead Salmon

Dead Salmon? Joa Studholme, Farrow & Ball’s color curator, explains,“Dead Salmon has a terrible connotation, but it’s derived from an old painter’s invoice that the team found at a historic hall in England. It’s from 1805. Salmon is the color, and dead refers to the matte paint finish; it has nothing to do with the fish being dead, but put together, it’s amusing.”


I want a job naming paint colors.




Sunday, July 10, 2022

In Character

Danny Martin, newspaper man


My friend Dan Martin's funeral was Saturday.

It's Sunday and I'm surprised that I haven't heard from him.

It would be just like him to have made a last request that after his funeral every one of his friends be texted: "Thanks for coming" from his phone.

Rest in Peace, Danny. 

And don't be too tough on God regarding lackluster local coverage in the Heaven Times- Picayune.


_________________________






Friday, July 1, 2022

A Couple of Podcasts

 

At the end of June 2022, I enjoyed appearing on a couple of podcasts:


Storytelling with Puck with Stefano Capacchione

Scott Frothingham on Story Telling with Puck Podcast


The Get the Message Podcast with Scott Murray

Scott Frothingham on the Get the Message Podcast


Take a listen and let me know if you enjoyed 'em, too ... or if I should shut up and stick to writing.





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