What Can a Copywriter Learn From a Comedy Writer?

Tips on writing from John Swartzwelder.

John Swartzwelder is the legendary writer for the animated TV series The Simpsons. He wrote 59 scripts for the show, more than any other writer in the series history, and is credited as playing a key role in shaping the show into the cultural phenomenon it is today.

The John Swartzwelder method for writing

Since writing is very hard and rewriting is comparatively easy and rather fun, I always write my scripts all the way through as fast as I can, the first day, if possible, putting in crap jokes and pattern dialogue—“Homer, I don’t want you to do that.” “Then I won’t do it.” 

Then the next day, when I get up, the script’s been written. It’s lousy, but it’s a script. The hard part is done. It’s like a crappy little elf has snuck into my office and badly done all my work for me, and then left with a tip of his crappy hat. 

All I have to do from that point on is fix it. So I’ve taken a very hard job, writing, and turned it into an easy one, rewriting, overnight. 

I advise all writers to do their scripts and other writing this way. And be sure to send me a small royalty every time you do it.

Swartzwelder guest appearance on The Simpsons

Since leaving The Simpsons in 2003, Swartzwelder has been writing and self-publishing novels, most featuring Frank Burly, an incompetent private eye and occasional time traveler.

Nobody wants to read a book. You’ve got to catch their eye with something exciting in the first paragraph, while they’re in the process of throwing the book away. If it’s exciting enough, they’ll stop and read it. 

In his book Dead Men Scare Me Stupid, Swartzwelder follows his own advice opening with 

“Well, they found Amelia Earhart. That’s the good news. Unfortunately, they found her in the trunk of my car.”

Of course, the opening line is just that. An opening line.

Then you’ve got to put something even more exciting in the second paragraph, to suck them in further. And so on. It’s exhausting for everybody, but it’s got to be done.

The Copywriting Connection

Swartzwelder started his writing career as a copywriter for boutique advertising agencies, such as Hurvis, Binzer & Churchill and Van Brunt & Co., both Chicago.

All ad copywriters are expected to write humor or scientific-sounding mumbo jumbo or any other kind of writing, whatever’s needed for the campaign. And they’re expected to write it fast, too, because it’s due tomorrow. Good training, actually.

Swartzweldian 

For comedy writers, a huge compliment is to have one of their jokes called “Swartzweldian.” A Swartzweldian joke is unique, surprising, and sounds almost as if as if it’s always existed. In the words of Matt Selman "uniquely dumb and smart at the same time."

A Swartzweldian example: Outside a pawn shop, Homer stands on a stack of barrels and offers a toast to the crowd: “To alcohol. The cause of, and solution to, all of life’s problems.”

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Sources: 

Matt Selman. Swartzwelder The Great - 4/12/08 - Time

Mike Sacks. John Swartzwelder, Sage of “The Simpsons” - 5/2/21 - The New Yorker