Tuesday, February 9, 2021

22 Awful Analogies

I encourage writers to use analogies to illustrate a concept by taking another concept that their audience already understands and connecting it to the concept the writer is explaining. 

Not only can this result in the target audience understanding, but they also tend to bring along the emotions associated with the concept you used in the analogy.  

To quote some accomplished writers:

Our brains are great at comparing multiple things, tracking connections, and observing patterns. As a result, comparisons, metaphors, and analogies make for great persuasive writing tools. – Jacob McMillen

I love thinking about analogies – so much of the creative process involves finding lateral connections between things. – Nick Asbury

Use analogies to anchor the new in something the audience knows to get them to think about it in a new way. – Joel Klettke



Analogies Gone Awry


My friend, author Madison Barlow, sent me this list of  painfully terrible analogies. She said they made her both cringe and chuckle, so she couldn't resist sharing them.

Neither can I.



She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room temperature Canadian bacon.

He had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a Rottweiler makes before it throws up.

Bertram fell 14 stories, hitting the pavement like a Hefty bag filled with vegetable soup.

The lamp just sat there, like an inanimate object.

Her eyes were like two brown circles with big black dots in the center.

Her lips were red and full, like tubes of blood drawn by an inattentive phlebotomist. 

He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant and she was the East River.

She was like a magnet: Attractive from the back, repulsive from the front. 

He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical duck, either, but a real duck that was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a land mine or something.

Gary and Maureen had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who also hadn't met.

She walked into my office like a centipede with 98 missing legs.

The red brick wall was the color of a brick-red Crayola crayon. 

He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it. 

Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever. 

 It hurt the way your tongue hurts after you accidentally staple it to the wall.

He was as tall as a 6'4" tree.

The revelation that his marriage of 26 years had disintegrated because of his wife's infidelity came as a rude shock, like a surcharge at a formerly surcharge free ATM.

Th thunder was ominous-sounding, much like the sound of a thin sheet of metal being shaken backstage during the storm scene in a play.

She had him like a toenail stuck in a shag carpet. 

The plan was simple, like my brother-in-law Frank. But unlike Frank, this plan just might work.

Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.

She caught your eye like one of those pointy hook latches that used to dangle from screen doors and would fly up whenever you banged the door open again.

Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze. 

From the attic came an unearthly howl. The whole scene had an eerie, surreal quality, like when you're on vacation and Jeopardy comes on at 7:00pm instead of 7:30.

Her artistic sense was exquisitely refined, like someone who can tell butter from I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter 

The ballerina rose gracefully en point and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.

“Oh, Josh, take me!” she panted, her breasts heaving like a college freshman on $1-a-beer night. 

The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while.

The little boat drifted across the pond, exactly the way a cinder block wouldn't.



Thank you, Madison ... in return, here's a plug (it's the least I could do): Grab a free copy Madison Barlow's She's Mine and if you like this short story, check out her books (also available on Amazon). 


Tuesday, February 2, 2021

A copywriter must be …


A copywriter must be …

… able to tell a product’s story in an interesting way that can differentiate it and make it successful. 

… a fierce editor, judging their copy by its ability to generate the desired response.

… knowledgeable about what keeps their target audience up at night.

… aware that if the rhythm ain’t right, the words have less impact.

… a voracious reader, understanding that immersing themselves in good writing is one of the best things a writer can do to become a better writer.

… cognizant that making an emotional connection with their target market gives their words more power to influence their audience and persuade them to take action.

… intimately knowledgeable about the rules so they can bend and break those rules specifically to their best advantage.

… one part writer and one part marketer.

… able to deliver value to their clients by delivering value to their prospects/customers.

… focused on how the targeted audience will respond to the message, not how well written or clever their writing is.

… comfortable using the power of regret to help the prospect see themselves in a picture they want to avoid

… aware that copywriting doesn't start or stop with just the words.

… willing to build a deep understanding of the target consumer and their emotional and intellectual triggers.

… willing to occasionally break the unwritten rules of how things are “supposed” to be done.

… focused on a defined goal for each piece of copy, making every word contribute towards that goal.

… able to write how their clients’ customers talk.

… knowledgeable of why the buyers of a product or service are excited about what they get from it and then get potential buyers to feel that enthusiasm to the point they will buy it.

… anything but boring.



This post was inspired by world-class copywriter Eddie Shleyner who was "doing some research for a neat project" and wanted folks to finish the sentence: A copywriter must be … 

He wanted one answer. I came up with these 18 and sent him 3.


Monday, January 25, 2021

Content That Gets Devoured by Your Readers

How To Create Free Articles, Reports, And Blog Posts That SELL!


Before I show you how to sell with your content, let’s do something your competition is ignoring.

Let me show you how to write so your content gets …

Devoured by Your Readers!

Check out this page for example.

Ignore the actual content for a minute and notice how it “feels” to your eyes.

As you can see, it’s easy to read.

It’s punchy. It has short sentences. And best of all …

It Has Short Paragraphs!

And that’s really important because when your eye first “scans” the page, it calls up your brain an says, “Hey! this is easy to read!”

And your brain, in turn, decides to check it out.

Another cool thing about this article is that it’s telling two stories at once.

How?

Simple.


These "Sub-Heads" Tell A Story of Their Own!

Try it.

Scroll up to the top real quick and just read the subheads.

You can get complete “picture” of what this is all about just by scanning them …without actually reading the text.
It’s a technique called “dual readership path” and I learned it (and so much more) from Dan Kennedy.
The reason it’s important is because

Everybody Skims The Page Before Their Brain Commits To Reading It!

That’s totally normal.

And what’s main thing that jumps out at the “scanning brain”?

That’s right. It’s the headline and the sub head.

So what’s really going on is

These Sub-Heads Are “Selling” The Brain On The Idea Of Reading The Whole Page!

Pretty cool, right?

See how easy this is to read?

And if you’re just scanning the page, you’ll still get an idea of what it’s about.

And here’s another thing about this article.

See the article isn’t really about “writing articles”.

Instead,


This Article is Really About YOU!

And more specifically, it's about you influencing more people by creating content that's easy to consume.

After all, if they don’t actually read what you’re putting out there, how can they learn about all the benefits you have to offer?


So now that we’ve got them reading your stuff, let me show you

5 Ways To Influence Your Readers So You Can Make More Sales

  1. First, make sure to read the rest of this article (and there's a lot of good stuff in there) at: https://frankkern.com/how-to-sell-in-articles/ 

WHY

Although Frank Kern has a lot more to say in this article, I'm just showing you the first part to demonstrate a style of using short sentences, short paragraphs, and subheads to make your content easy to consume.

KERN

FYI, Frank Kern, the author of this article, is a highly successful direct marketing consultant and copywriter. You can find out more about him here: https://frankkern.com/about/ 

NOTE

If you felt this was interesting/helpful, check out this blogpost about Writing with Rhythm


Wednesday, January 20, 2021

Writers Read

We writers tend to read a lot. And we’re always happy to suggest those books that most impacted our writing.

Ask a copy or content writer about favorite book and they’ll list off half a dozen before you’ve finished asking. Don’t be surprised if the name Ernest Hemingway is on the list.

 But what if you asked Hemingway for a recommended reading list?

Hemingway gave this list to aspiring writer Arnold Samuelson in 1934 with the instructions:

Here’s a list of books any writer should have read as a part of his education… If you haven’t read these, you just aren’t educated. They represent different types of writing. Some may bore you, others might inspire you and others are so beautifully written they’ll make you feel it’s hopeless for you to try to write.

 The Blue Hotel - Stephen Crane

The Open Boat - by Stephen Crane

Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert

Dubliners - James Joyce

The Red and the Black - Stendhal

Of Human Bondage - W. Somerset Maugham

Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy

War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy

Buddenbrooks - Thomas Mann

Hail and Farewell - George Moore

The Brothers Karamazov - Fyodor Dostoyevsky

The Oxford Book of English Verse

The Enormous Room - E.E. Cummings

Wuthering Heights - Emily Brontë

Far Away and Long Ago - W.H. Hudson

The American - Henry James

Interestingly, Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain, the book that Hemingway referred to as “the best book an American ever wrote,” was not on the list.   

So how many of the books on Hemingway’s list have you read? Would he have considered you educated?

 

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