Your Call Is Important to Us, Just Not Right Now

I called my dentist’s office yesterday, during business hours, to reschedule an appointment.

Instead of a human, I got Sally. Sally introduced herself as an AI assistant that works “alongside the team”. She was polite with the upbeat tone of someone who has never once had a cavity (or even a bad day). 

After gathering just enough information, she told me that someone would call me back … a fascinating bit of modern logic: I reached out at a moment that worked for me, and the system responded by promising a conversation at a moment that almost certainly won’t.

Maybe I’ll be in a meeting. Maybe I won’t recognize the number and let it drift into voicemail purgatory with the robocalls and extended warranty offers. Either way, the loop resets with a cheerful message asking me to call back ... and if I do, I will once again encounter Sally, the gatekeeper of deferred human contact.

It’s like trying to shake someone’s hand and being handed a coupon for a future handshake instead.

I get it. Efficiency. Optimization. Streamlining. Words that sound positive and intelligent until you notice they usually mean one side gets convenience and the other gets a maze. Businesses love efficiency, and maybe this is efficient … for them. Fewer interruptions. Less staff time. A tidy system humming along like a Roomba that occasionally eats a sock but we still call it progress.

From my end, however, it doesn’t feel like progress. It feels like we replaced a simple, human moment with a perfectly organized delay.

We keep dressing inconvenience up in futuristic clothing and calling it improvement. We polish the surface until it gleams, and then we stop asking whether the thing underneath actually got better. The shine becomes the argument.

I’m not anti-technology. I like talking maps, movies on airplanes, and the ability to look up Marx brothers trivia at two in the morning. But somewhere along the way, convenience stopped meaning easier for humans and started meaning easier to manage humans. Those are not the same thing.

A real receptionist might put me on hold, sigh a little, shuffle papers, maybe even mispronounce my name. Imperfect. Slightly inefficient. Entirely human. And somehow, in all that friction, the task would get done in about thirty seconds. No voicemail ping-pong. No polite robot promising phone tag.

Progress should feel like a door opening. Lately it feels like an elevator panel where every button leads back to the lobby.

Maybe this is inevitable. Every generation invents new ways to save time, then spends the savings explaining why everything takes longer. Maybe Sally is the future, smiling her frictionless smile while we press numbers and wait to be returned to ourselves.

Still, I can’t shake the suspicion we’ve confused motion with movement, activity with action.
Because if I call a dentist during business hours and can’t reschedule my appointment, I’m not sure the system is efficient.

I am, however, pretty sure that it’s very, very proud of itself.